Do your Friends Bug you for Free Massages?

Recently while I was performing a chair massage at an event, a client asked me “Do your friends bug you for free massages a lot?”

I shortly pondered over the questions while administering soft fists on opposite sides of their spine.  “No… not really.” I responded

They responded with a raised eyebrow and simply said “Huh, that’s odd. you’re really good at what you do.”

I accepted the compliment and mentally moved on with the massage, but I couldn’t help to think of the many possibilities of why my response was seen as unordinary.  It occurred to me that they had probably seen me as very capable within my occupation, and by not giving away my services for free, I was withholding an act of kindness from my peers.  This certainly stands as a reasonable argument.  For befriending someone who is within a particular job/industry can lead to second-ha

nd benefits.  For example, people who live with a chef often talk about the delight of having a professional prepare and serve several meals.  And while many massage therapists do believe in helping as many as possible with their palpation skills and their keen sense of intuition, it is simply unsustainable for many to give away “free work”, not matter.  I am in no way advising massage therapists not offer their work for free or at extreme discounts if it suites the goals and needs of them and those that surround them.  It can be a great way for therapists early in their career to earn experience, and develop their craft.  However, I am making the point that while I think massage is necessary in everyone’s life, who you receive it from may be a privilege.  

It is overwhelmingly common in my experience that prospective massage therapists join the career to help people who have been left disappointed by traditional western medicine, those who endure chronic pain, and especially underserved communities who lack the proper funds to access consistent massage therapy.  It is almost a cliche’ within the industry that many therapists handle the needs of those around them much better than the needs of their own.  Fortunately it is becoming common again for physical therapists, massage therapists, and chiropractors to trade work at no cost to each other.  This creates a supportive ecosystem of body workers that in many instances is free of charge, yet holds massive value.  My aforementioned statement is not to scold therapists who choose to “give away” their work, but to reconsider how much or how often they choose to.  If a massage therapist does choose to perform bodywork on their friends/family pro-bono, it should be seen as a treat and special to those on the receiving end.

For Certified Massage Therapists paid a lot of money and studied hundreds of hours(at the minimum) to hold the title they do.  I advocate for CMT’s to never feel pressured to perform their professional craft for free if they do not desire to do so.  And I ask friends and loved one’s of massage therapists to reconsider the value in the “free” massage you desire.  Of course receiving a massage is a lovely gift that holds immense value to one’s self-care needs.  However, the physical and emotional toll it often takes on therapists is one that demands for often high compensation.  Do not feel guilty for asking a CMT for a free massage, but simply embrace the idea that if they turn down the request, it is not personal, and they have bodily and spiritual boundaries and limitations too.